Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
