you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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