I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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