I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
