Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize