Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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