Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
