pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
