Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
