i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
