Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
