i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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