Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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