Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
