Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
