things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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