Sponge bath it is.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
