i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
