Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
where are my eyebrows?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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