My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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