idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
