I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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