Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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