I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
