Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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