I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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