take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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