its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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