I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
