i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
