im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
