I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Damn victory sex feels great
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
