weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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