He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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