The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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