sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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