The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
