just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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