All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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