Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
