I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
