we should wear snuggies to the strip club
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
