i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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