Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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