If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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