good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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