so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
