if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
