I haven't been this sober since birth.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize