Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dignity is for republicans.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
