and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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