You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
