we're blogging at a bar
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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