she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
