As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
