oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
ok first of all what the fuck
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
