She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
that is very illegal...i love you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
