Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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