PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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