what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
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