just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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